I’m here because I’ve been feeling burnt out.
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If you ask any of my friends, they’d probably tell you that I have a good work ethic, I’m very organized, and I’m pretty self-sufficient.
While some people are impressed by my hustle, a handful of my closest friends know that I’ve been struggling to find balance.
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For years, I haven’t been creating anything for myself, but I’ve always created things for someone else with so much enthusiasm. From creating marketing content to roast profiles to building relationships with people down to writing content for clients—none of them were for me. Sure, I feel happy when I get great feedback and when I get recognized, but that’s only for a tiny moment. Because at the end of the day, the things I made don’t feel like they’re mine.
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I took a break for the first time in forever last week, and it was a very vulnerable time for me because I had to stop working. And for someone who operates with a routine (I time myself every day), this was a big challenge.
It felt so weird for me not to feel overwhelmed for a few days—it felt crazy that I didn’t hear WhatsApp and Slack notifications. To top it all off, the whole experience forced me to examine my emotions and evaluate where I was.
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Self-care days, journal prompts, therapy—they’ve been helping a lot, but nothing is more forceful than having to really sit with yourself in the quiet and think, and just stop doing and just be.
Like, this concept of ~not doing anything is still doing something~ is so foreign to me, and I have so much resistance towards it, especially since I know that my body and mind need it. But I just can’t not move.
But, you know, during my break, I felt very grateful—I’m glad I forced myself to breathe. I still try to appreciate the small things I have and to celebrate my wins. And what I was so thankful for during this break was being around family, seeing one of my best friends after almost two years, being able to run in such a beautiful place, breathe fresh, cool air, and really letting go of my schedule.
While I was driving home, I realized that for the longest time, I thought I had my head above water, but I think I was hiding behind my daily routine. And it sucked the life out of me.
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Please don’t misunderstand me—I’m grateful for the opportunities that I’ve been getting. But I don’t know where/when/how I forgot about myself.
So, there. I want to start doing my own thing. Maybe you’ll like it, maybe you won’t. But I’m doing this for me. No pressure. (Who am I kidding? I’ve edited this newsletter a bunch of times already. Maybe there is pressure but like… from me. But whatever. Shut up.)
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So, yeah, thank you for being here.
To put it simply, The EverythingEverything will encourage me to do everything and anything I want, and hopefully, it inspires you to do the same.
I’m excited to share the conversations I’ll have every month with amazing people. And I can’t wait to share my own stories and some tools I’ve been using, too.
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I don’t know what this will grow into, but I’m just trusting my gut, and I’m so glad I’m doing this with you.
A Little Bit of EverythingEverything
❃ Some journal prompts that helped me recently:
What does rest mean to you?
How do you feel after doing things other than work? (notice the small things—cleaning your room, stretching, making coffee, etc.)
How can you be more compassionate with yourself?
❃ Let Lindsay inspire you—he even appreciates “the smell of apples as they quietly rot on the ground.”
❃ I’ve been working on choosing the right words to say explain how I feel, so this has been very helpful.
❃ What’s a song that you’ve forgotten? This one’s mine, and I’m so happy I found it again.
❃ Magical The EverythingEverything art by Wiji Lacsamana ❤️🔥
❃ Reading: Mrs Dalloway by Virginia Woolf - the version I have looks so darling.
❃ Listening: Puno is such an interesting person, and I recently re-listened to her podcast episode on freelancing.
How about you? How are you doing? What’s something you want to do for yourself?
See you next month!
🤎,
Gia